Quaere Verum

Things boredom can do to one's imagination: Coffee pa dear? Attack of the giant hand Hello? Bakit mahina boses mo?

This is a poem that Nao and I collaborated on during our stint as college writers so many years past. It was also an experiment... "sa paggamit ng malalim na Tagalog." Hahaha. The poem is meant to be read alternately between the girl and guy parts. Nao! In case you already forgot this, or lost your copy, here it is! Hope you guys enjoy it...:-) Guryon ng Pag-Ibig BABAE: Oh, lumipad ka, mahal! Sige, taasan mo pa Tangan ko yaring tali Kaya’t ‘wag mag-alala At sa iyong paglipad Nasalubong mga ulap Dami, kulay at hugis Saglit mong inapuhap Ang araw nga ay sumapit ‘di kita pipigilin B’onhigpit aking kapit Huwag patangay sa hangin. Ngunit sa paglipad mo Nawa’y ibaba ‘yong tinging Isipin mo lamang ako Pangako mo sana’y dinggin Sa iyong pagbabalik At sa iyong pagbaba Tamis ng iyong halik ‘di pa rin nawawala Sinta, ika’y nagbalik Nang walang pagpipilit Kaya’t ako’y nananabik Sa tali’y ika’y kumapit Ngayo’y nasa ‘king muli Guryon ng ‘king pinawalan Wagas na pag-ibig ang Siyang pinawa...

This is an actual job application that a 75 year old senior citizen submitted to Walmart in Arkansas. (They hired him because he was so funny.) NAME: George Martin SEX: Not lately, but I am looking for the right woman (or at least, one who'll cooperate). DESIRED POSITION: Company's President or Vice President. But seriously, whatever's available. If I was in a position to be picky, I wouldn't be applying here in the first place. DESIRED SALARY: $185,000 a year plus stock options and a Michael Ovate style severance package. If that's not possible, make an offer and we can haggle. EDUCATION: Yes. LAST POSITION HELD: Target for middle management hostility. PREVIOUS SALARY: A lot less than I'm worth. MOST NOTABLE ACHIEVEMENT: My incredible collection of stolen pens and post-it notes. REASON FOR LEAVING: It sucked. HOURS AVAILABLE TO WORK: Any. PREFERRED HOURS: 1:30-3:30 p.m. Monday, Tuesday, and Thursday. DO YOU HAVE ANY SPECIAL SKILLS? Yes, but they're better s...

Since my son was getting a bit bored on the drive home to his mom's, I gave him my camera phone and told to him to take pictures of anything interesting that he saw along the way. While some of the pictures were blurred and uninteresting, some...actually a lot...were quite good. Here are some of the pictures he took: Chasing the sunset... Broadcast tower Er...Jollibee? Self portrait Could it be that he actually has an eye for photography? Maybe. At least I hope he has. What do you think? Well at the very least, here's another thing I can probably encourage him to develop. :-)

10. "They told me at the blood bank this might happen." 9. "This is just a 15 minute power-nap like they raved about in that time management course you sent me to." 8. "Whew! Guess I left the top off the White-Out. You probably got here just in time!" 7. "I wasn't sleeping! I was meditating on the mission statement and envisioning a new paradigm." 6. "I was testing my keyboard for drool resistance." 5. "I was doing a highly specific Yoga exercise to relieve work-related stress. Are you discriminatory toward people who practice Yoga?" 4. "Why did you interrupt me? I had almost figured out a solution to our biggest problem." 3. "The coffee machine is broken..." 2. "Someone must've put decaf in the wrong pot..." And the best thing to say if you get caught sleeping at your desk... 1. Raise your head from the desk and say " ... in Jesus' name. Amen."

Gong Xi Fa Cai Carrot, Egg or Coffee? A carrot, an egg and a cup of coffee...You will never look at a cup of coffee the same way again. A young woman went to her mother and told her about her life and how things were so hard for her. She did not know how she was going to make it and wanted to give up. She was tired of fighting and struggling. It seemed as one problem was solved, a new one arose. Her mother took her to the kitchen. She filled three pots with water and placed each on a high fire. Soon the pots came to boil. In the first she placed carrots, in the second she placed eggs, and in the last she placed ground coffee beans. She let them sit and boil, without saying a word. In about twenty minutes she turned off the burners. She fished the carrots out and placed them in a bowl She pulled the eggs out and placed them in a bowl. Then she ladled the coffee out and placed it in a bowl. Turning to her daughter, she asked, "Tell me, what do you see?" "Carrots, eggs, and...

A wise guy walking down the street sees a woman approaching him who has a beautiful pair of breasts. He rudely says to her, "Hey, Miss would you let me bite your breasts for 100 dollars?" "Are you crazy?" she replies as she hurries on down the street. So he speeds up and runs around the block and gets to the next corner just before she does. "Would you let me bite your breasts for 1,000 dollars?" he asks her again. "Listen, I'm not that kind of woman. You got it???" So the guy tries again and quickly runs around the next block and faces her again, "Would you let me bite your breasts just once for 10,000 dollars?" This time she thinks about it for a moment and says, "Humm....10,000 Dollars, eh? Ok, just once, but not here. Let's go into that dark area over there." So they went into the alley and she unbuttons her blouse to reveal a pair of very beautiful breasts. As soon as she exposes them he starts caressing, fo...