Looking back at the year that was....
About a year ago I was hoping that 2012 would turn out to be a better year that 2011. With five days left, well, was it really better?
I suppose it was, though it was not the home run I had been wishing for.
Embroiled in a lot of work though, and got to travel more than I usually do, which to be honest, seemed rather meaningless in the grand scheme of things.
I did a lot...but it really didn't seem as if I accomplished a lot if you know what I mean.
Like a hamster in a hamster wheel.
Life has apparently made me insensitive to the simple things...simple things that once, I guess, brought me uncomplicated joy, but now are simply set aside as an eventuality of life.
People come, people go.
The days pass into weeks, which passes into months, which passes into a year.
And a year doesn't seem that long anymore.
Holidays come and pass...Christmas and New Year's eve rolls over again.
The Mayan calendar has ended, without much as whimper from the world which is supposedly near the end of its days.
Material possessions hardly matter as much as they once before, yet I still pursue them, if only for lack of anything else to do.
There is still the abstract pursuit of truth, the abstract pursuit of trying to do the right thing. But it doesn't seem to matter.
Perhaps inconsequentiality is our fate.
We can aspire for the highest things, the greatest good, and we can delay the onset of futility, but only for so long. Then we find ourselves existing, but forgetting how to live.
The fundamental truths that I thought I knew haven't turned out to be so true after all.
Bad things happen to good people.
Good deeds are not always rewarded.
Bad deeds have as much chance to reap rewards as much as good deeds apparently.
And the truth? No one apparently really seems to care about it all that much, content to exist within the illusory veils surrounding their own lives.
Am I depressed? Perhaps. Maybe just a case of holiday blues. But I meant everything I typed in this post.
That doesn't mean I'm giving up on life...on the things I believe in...if only because they have been so ingrained in my existence I can't shed them even if I wanted to.
Going back...2012, how was it?
It's okay...and I'm thankful for that.
I am grateful to the Creator for giving me all the blessings that I have received, and for watching over those who are close...and perhaps not so close to me.
I pray that my obsession with futility will not determine the choices that I make.
That I still stick to the right thing, no matter how seemingly inconsequential the right thing may appear to be.
Life is a continuous pursuit of...pursuits...which we decide to undertake for ourselves, for others, or for some surreal goal that perhaps is only understood by ourselves.
So here's to continuing the pursuit, because as I am so fond of saying, life's a trip, not a destination.
In 2013, we soldier on, as we have always done.
Merry Christmas, and a Happy New Year to all of you.