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Showing posts from April, 2010

Dictum Meum Pactum

- "My word is my bond."

What would you do if you had knowledge of a certain thing that's bound to adversely affect someone you know, but you gave your word that you wouldn't say anything? What if that someone was a friend? A close friend? A former close friend with whom you had a falling out? How about someone you don't even know? Does it really matter how close you are to the person?

Without realizing it, I suddenly find myself in this situation. Yes, I gave my word, and hell would freeze over before I would even consider breaking it...but still, if you're in a postion to help someone from imminent disaster, would you break your word for that?

My word means everything to me. My word is my bond. I do not take promises lightly. As a result, before I give my word or promise anything I think it through several times just to make sure that I myself understand the consequences of my actions. It has never happened yet that I broke my word...and I'm not looking for…

Love Sonnet XVII

I don't love you as if you were the salt-rose, topaz
or arrow of carnations that propagate fire:
I love you as certain dark things are loved,
secretly, between the shadow and the soul.
I love you as the plant that doesn't bloom and carries
hidden within itself the light of those flowers,
and thanks to your love, darkly in my body
lives the dense fragrance that rises from the earth.

I love you without knowing how, or when, or from where,
I love you simply, without problems or pride:
I love you in this way because I don't know any other way of loving

but this, in which there is no I or you,
so intimate that your hand upon my chest is my hand,
so intimate that when I fall asleep it is your eyes that close.


- Pablo Neruda

For Lynae.

Reverie

I sat and think of you
releasing my mind and letting it go,
to the farthest ends of thought,
to where my mind can reach you
to where my heart can love you
to where my arms can hold you,
endlessly...
to the farthest reach of dreams
I'll hold you,
to the deepest depths of my heart
I will love you,
till reality finds me
I'll be thinking of you.


- Lynae

Trilemma....

Is God willing to prevent evil, but not able?
Then He is not omnipotent.
Is He able, but not willing?
Then He is malevolent.
Is He both able and willing?
Then whence cometh evil?
Is He neither able nor willing?
Then why call Him God?


- Epicurus

The Kid and the Principal

A first-grade teacher, Ms Neelam is having trouble with one of her students. The teacher asked, "Boy, what is your problem?" Boy answered, "I'm too smart for the first-grade. My sister is in the third-grade and I'm smarter than she is! I think I should be in the third-grade too!"

Ms. Neelam had enough. She took Boy to the principal's office. While Boy waited outside the office, the teacher explained to the principal what the situation was. The principal told Ms Neelam he would give the boy a test and if he failed to answer any of his questions he has to go back to the first-grade and behave. She agreed. Boy was brought in and the conditions were explained to him and he agreed to take the test.

Principal: "What is 3 x 3?"

Boy: "9".

Principal: "What is 6 x 6?"

Boy: "36".

And so it went with every question the principal thought a third-grade should know.

The principal look at Ms. Neelam and tells her, "I think Boy can …

I hate summer....

I hate summer.

I hate it so much. I hate the heat, those humid windless days, the bright sun, all the free time with nothing to do but have myself as company.

And to be perfectly honest, I really don't enjoy being with myself.

I hate the memories of summer.

I never really enjoyed summer even as a kid. We never really did go out on summer holidays even when I was little. I never really got to know my neighbors' kids so I just stayed at home and watched TV (all five channels of it at the time), read my Choose Your Own Adventure books or just played with my Legos. Yes, there were some outings...but these were pretty rare and far in-between.

My parents loved me, like all parents loved their children, though as a kid they never really doted on me during my idle times, and I don't remember talking with them or doing anything much with them. My dad used to play scrabble with me when I was much younger, say seven or eight, though it didn't carry on when I got a bit older. So summer…

Paradise lost....

Several years ago, when I just graduated from college, I thought I had a pretty good picture of where I would be in the future. It was nothing fancy, just basic expectations. I saw myself practicing the profession I aspired to at the time, married to a loving and caring wife, a few kids, financially comfortable but not necessarily wealthy. This was the paradise that I sought to be in then.

Several years down the line, it can be surprising and disappointing to realize that even such basic expectations would prove quite difficult to achieve.

It's not to say that my current lot in life is dismal. It's pretty okay, though some pieces seem to be missing here and there. Since my failed marriage about eleven years ago and its subsequent annulment, I have remained single. I have a teenage son who shuttles back and forth between his mother and me. While I have not succeeded in entering the profession I so wanted to be a part of in the past, I'm gainfully employed. I may not enjoy my …

Quaere Verum

Believe those who are seeking the truth; doubt those who find it.

- Andre Gide

The Four Cats

Four men were bragging about how smart their cats were.

The first man was an engineer,
The second man was an accountant,
The third man was a chemist, and
The fourth man was a government employee.

To show off, the engineer called his cat, "T-square, do your stuff."

T-square pranced over to the desk, took out some paper and pen and promptly drew a circle, a square, and a triangle.

Everyone agreed that was pretty smart.

But the accountant said his cat could do better. He called his cat and said, "Spreadsheet, do your stuff."

Spreadsheet went out to the kitchen and returned with a dozen cookies. He divided them into 4 equal piles of 3 cookies.

Everyone agreed that was good.

But the chemist said his cat could do better. He called his cat and said, "Measure, do your stuff."

Measure got up, walked to the fridge, took out a quart of milk, got a 10 ounce glass from the cupboard and poured exactly 8 ounces without spilling a drop into the glass.

Everyone agreed that was pr…

If you love someone....

...set them free. If they come back they're yours; if they don't they never were.

- Richard Bach

Of all the quotes about love that I have heard or read about, this particular quote is the one that I can relate to the most, striking a chord within my very being with its seeming poignancy and profound sense of irony.

set them free...

As if love was some form of cage...a prison from where one seeks deliverance from, like a curse of some sort, instead of the positive emotion of affection and devotion that it is supposed to be. And yet, it fits. Perfectly.

To be free from the bonds of love not shared or reciprocated...is a release sought by both giver and receiver of the emotion...probably more if you're the receiver.

To an individual who has not been tempered by years of experience, this quote is nothing if not counter-intuitive, contrary to the very passions of youth exalted in movies and books, encouraging one to fight for the one he or she loves. Such an ideal is admirable to be …

Your Appointed Time

God has an appointed time to fulfill the visions, dreams, and desires in your heart. Just because it has taken a long time or because you've tried and failed doesn't mean it's not going to happen. Don't give up on those dreams! Don't be complacent about pursuing what God has placed in your heart. Our God is a faithful God. No matter how long it's been, no matter how impossible things look, if you'll stay in faith, your set time is coming.

Remember, every dream that's in your heart, every promise that has taken root, God put it there. Not only that, but He has every intention of bringing it to pass. Hold on to that vision today. Declare by faith, "My time is coming. God is working behind the scenes on my behalf. I will fulfill my destiny!" As you continue to hold on to that vision and speak life over your dreams, it won't be long before you see them begin to take shape. You'll see your faith grow, you'll see your hope strengthen, and…

Txtspk....

Dont u just h8 txtspk? Txtspk 1st came abt as a mins 2 abbrevi8 words wyl txting so as 2 make txting fastr and mor eficient. Un42n8ly, ppl now use txtspk vir2aly evrywer, from 4ums, 2 FB posts, 2 twiter, chatrums, and even evryday comunicatns. Frankly, i find it very anoying. Nowadays, 1 can get away w/out lerning 2 spel bec hardly any1 boders 2 spel korekly anymor. I tink its a bad influens on kids 2day, sins dey trit txtspk as a norml mode of comunicatn, at d expens of korek speling and gramar.

Jus dis morning wyl drivng i was lstning 2 dis radio jok complain abt a lot of der listnrs using txtspk 4 der gritings and msgs, and she cud hardly undrstnd d msgs she was rcving.

Der r tyms wer it is aceptbl to cut cornrs. Howvr, propr comunicatn shud not b among dem. Kids hu gru up w/ txtspk may rgue dat as long as u r undrstud its ok, and deyd b rite. D ting is, not evry1 can undrstnd txtspk. Im not dat old, and was among d 1st 2 use txting as a mins of comunic8tn wen it 1st came out in d 90…

Tennyson was a moron....

I just came to a realization. Well, not really a realization, since I've known it from the start. One of the main reasons why I blog is because for the most part, I really don't have anyone to talk to. Actually, I guess there a few friends here and there that I can talk to, but I'd rather not. I often prefer to keep my thoughts to myself, and blogging is a good outlet for me. I'm not really comfortable baring my thoughts and feelings to even my closest friends, I just don't want to show my vulnerabilities to anyone.

Like now.

I'm feeling a bit vulnerable now, and I don't think I'd want anyone I know to know that. So what is it that has been bugging me? Let's see...so how do I put it...

Despite the cool exterior that I project to most everyone I know, in truth and in fact, on the inside I'm actually a wreck. I'm a very emotional person, much too emotional for my own good, and try as I might, I can't control the way that I feel about things, …

Laundry day....

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It's that time of the week again. Every Saturday morning, I find myself performing the mundane task of separating my coloreds from my whites, plugging in the washing machine, and listening to the soft hum of its motor as it goes about its task of ridding my clothes of the past week's filth.

*sigh*

If there was only a washing machine for the soul, I would have bought one in a heartbeat.

For some strange reason, most of the people who know me don't really think of me as the type who "does laundry". Maybe they think of me as some prince with a staff of servants at my beck and call, to whom I can direct the rather unglamorous task of washing my clothes. It's weird I guess, since I'm not sure where they got the idea. It's not that I'm filthy rich, far from it really, though they hit the filthy part spot on.

I have to admit I'm really not the type of person one would associate with performing household chores, and yet, I do some, if only because of para…

How do you reinvent yourself?

So just how does one go about reinventing one's self? I've been too preoccupied pursuing a solitary goal or fearing forging ahead with the burden of past memories that I haven't really given much thought to doing anything else, or starting something new. Not that it has been easy pursuing a dream or starting fresh, but with recent events, I see now that I have no choice.

Either move on and go forward, or be trapped in things that have come to pass, and can never be changed.

With regard to one particular aspect, I have been forging ahead in a direction I have last taken almost a decade ago. To be honest I no longer am familiar with the rules of the game, nor am I familiar on how to go about it. The only thing I do know is to rely on the truth. Unfortunately relying on the truth is not always easy, nor is it guaranteed that success will soon follow, but at least it's a start. I have been wandering aimlessly for several years now, trying to get a grip on who and what I am, …

Morning Prayer

Dear Lord, I thank you for this day. I thank You for my being able to see and to hear this morning. I'm blessed because You are a forgiving God and an understanding God. You have done so much for me and You keep on blessing me. Forgive me this day for everything I have done, said or thought that was not pleasing to you. I ask now for Your forgiveness.

Please keep me safe from all danger and harm. Help me to start this day with a new attitude and plenty of gratitude. Let me make the best of each and every day to clear my mind so that I can hear from You.

Please broaden my mind that I can accept all things.

Let me not whine and whimper over things I have no control over. Let me continue to see sin through God's eyes and acknowledge it as evil. And when I sin, let me repent, and confess with my mouth my wrongdoing, and receive the forgiveness of God.

And when this world closes in on me, let me remember Jesus' example -- to slip away and find a quiet place to pray. It's the …