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Showing posts from May, 2010

His first....

Solo jeepney ride, that is.

Yesterday, a little before noon, my son and I undertook a grand experiment...well not that grand to be honest. In the grand scheme of things it's probably mediocre. Still, useful lessons ought to be learned, so we, or at least I, thought it to be a worthwhile endeavor to teach my son how to ride a jeepney by himself.

Actually, he taught himself. I wasn't there with him. If I were, it wouldn't be a solo jeepney ride would it?

I drove him near his school, which was beside Sto. Domingo church in Quezon City, gave him a couple of bills, and gave him the four cardinal rules of jeepney riding: (1) Don't draw attention to himself; (2) Don't display any expensive stuff like his cellphone or PSP; (3) Keep his eyes peeled, and to trust his senses. If he thinks something is off or looks suspicious, find another jeepney; and lastly (4) Look cool.

Unfortunately, he botched the last one, since the first thing that happened when he got off the car was that…

Home

If in my deep slumber

I would awaken,

And find my world

And life’s dreams

To be forsaken,

Let me hold onto my credence

Of someday I’ll find you home.

Back to where my heart is longing,

Ease my heart that’s breaking,

Stop the tears falling,

And come back home.

If by chance we meet

And you see that I am confused,

Put a stop to my confusion

And carry me home.

Destiny’s already woven

We’ve got to keep believing

That ours are interwoven,

That’s all I could do to

Keep apart from you,

Hoping someday

Love would see us through.

Though troubles and despairs may

Be cast upon our ways, but

God would see us through.

Home, will be the place in my heart

Where you’ll stay for a lifetime,

I’ll wait for you in the meantime

When the time would be right

For us to decide

What’s next in line.

Just remember that –

I will always love you,

For my home is your heart…

and yours is in mine.


- Lynae

Way Back into Love

Way Back Into Love
Hugh Grant Featuring Haley Bennett

I've been living with a shadow overhead
I've been sleeping with a cloud above my bed
I've been lonely for so long
Trapped in the past, I just can't seem to move on

I've been hiding all my hopes and dreams away
Just in case I ever need em again someday
I've been setting aside time
To clear a little space in the corners of my mind

All I want to do is find a way back into love
I can't make it through without a way back into love
Oh oh oh

I've been watching but the stars refuse to shine
I've been searching but I just don't see the signs
I know that it's out there
There's got to be something for my soul somewhere

I've been looking for someone to shed some light
Not somebody just to get me through the night

I could use some direction
And I'm open to your suggestions

All I want to do is find a way back into love
I can't make it through without a way back into love
And if I open my heart again
I guess I&…

Commonweath Ave. lot for sale or lease....

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Just a repost. You never know who might notice.

Anyone here interested in purchasing or leasing a plot of commercial land located along Commonwealth Ave. in Quezon City? It's my father's property, and it has a lot area of 2,844 sqm., with a number of residential improvements. The frontage is a bit on the small side, at 14 m., but it directly faces Commonwealth Ave.

The lot has been on the market for quite a while, but since the real estate market has been down for some time now...well you know how it is.

Just in case you're interested, or know someone who is, please feel free to leave a comment or to email me at ronallandottk@yahoo.com. To cut the hassle, would prefer to deal with direct buyers only. Sometimes it can be quite hard dealing with a multitude of brokers and middlemen...you know how that is too. :-)

You can also call 9315575 if you have any inquiries.
Siteplan of the property.


Aerial view. The road at the top of the photo is Commonwealth Avenue.


Here's a tighter a…

Unnamed haiku....

The summer air:
saps my strength
I sit in my chair.


Yes. That's it.

Standstill

Bounded by the thoughts of what once was
I lingered, filled with emotions that’ll never come to pass
Trapped in a time I thought won't ever last
Silenced by the memories of the past.

Within these walls, I blindly walk
Not knowing when or where to go.
Shadows of doubt had loomed so free,
Trying to fill the void that once was me.

In this emptiness, I quietly lay,
Waiting and hoping for time to make haste
Fading the delusions of the mind,
Of dreams that I can never find.


- Lynae

My first....

Last night, out of the blue, I received a message on my Facebook account.

It was her.

My first girlfriend, whom I last heard from 19 years ago.

I look at her profile picture. She still looks exactly the same as I remember her. Apparently she's doing well...and not surprisingly, she has her own family now.

Frankly, I don't know how to react.

I must have made an impression on her, since she remembered me and actually looked me up after all these years.

Though it was 19 years ago, I still remember how I felt back then. I remember how we met when I first got a summer job working at a Dunkin' Donuts shop in SM North Edsa. I remember how I used to wait for her until she punched out of the donut shop where we both worked so I could take her home. I remember when she was reassigned to a branch in Quiapo where I used to visit her, even though I wasn't working anymore. I remember when she left Manila to go back home to Pangasinan. I remember how hard I tried to maintain a long-distanc…

A rose by any other name....

JULIET:

'Tis but thy name that is my enemy;
Thou art thyself, though not a Montague.
What's Montague? it is nor hand, nor foot,
Nor arm, nor face, nor any other part
Belonging to a man. O, be some other name!
What's in a name? that which we call a rose
By any other name would smell as sweet;
So Romeo would, were he not Romeo call'd,
Retain that dear perfection which he owes
Without that title. Romeo, doff thy name,
And for that name which is no part of thee
Take all myself.


- From Shakespeare's Romeo and Juliet.

What's in a name?

I couldn't help but chuckle to myself when someone told me that some union members where planning to change the name of their union supposedly "because the union name has no credibility". Hello? How can a union name "not have any credibility"? It's just a name.

Sometimes I can't help but be surprised how shallow some people can be. It is the officers and members of a union which give it its credibility, and not the name. Even if the name was changed, but if you still had the same people on board, and these people are not credible to begin with, it doesn't matter how many times you change the name, or what name you change it to. The organization will still lack credibility.

As I'm often fond of saying: A rose by any other name would still smell as sweet. And by the same token, a pile of shit would still stink no matter what you call it.

What's in a name anyway?

Are the terms we use to refer to someone, to something, really that important? It woul…

Status update....

This is one of those posts which are about nothing in particular. I felt like posting an update, but for the life of me, nothing really blog-worthy seems to be popping into my head at this very moment.

I'm not saying that there's nothing going on. I guess there is, but at this point in time I guess I'd rather not blog about it since it's a hanging issue, and I don't think its a good idea to preempt something, whether it goes one way or another. Suffice it to say that I'm still hoping for the best, and at the same time, afraid of...yet preparing for the worst.

As for other things...not much to report.

I keep getting a lot of input from other people suggesting that I try doing something new in our office. At this point I'm not so sure about that. Maybe I'll wait until things settle down. With the national elections over more than a week ago, and a new administration starting on June 30, a lot of things could still happen in our office. It's not impossibl…

Memo from the Management

Your action may be required.
MEMO : TO ALL EMPLOYEES
Effective immediately

DRESS CODE

1. It is advised that you come to work dressed according to your salary. If we see you wearing Prada shoes, a Giorgio Armani suit or carrying a Gucci bag, we assume you are doing well financially and therefore do not need a pay raise.

2. If you dress poorly, you need to learn to manage your money better, so that you may buy nicer clothes, and therefore you do not need a pay raise.

3. If you dress just right, you are right where you need to be and therefore you do not need a pay raise.

SICK DAYS

We will no longer accept a doctor's certificate as proof of sickness. If you are able to go to the doctor, you are able to come to work.

HOLIDAY DAYS

Each employee will receive 52 personal days a year of holidays. They are called Sunday.

COMPASSIONATE LEAVE

This is no excuse for missing work. There is nothing you can do for dead relatives, friends or co-workers. Every effort should be made to have non-employee involve…

Too sensitive for my own good?

Am I?

Too sensitive for my own good?

Maybe I am, and I just haven't realized it.

Maybe I kept to myself for so long now, that I've forgotten how to take other people's thoughts and actions in stride;

Maybe I've always distanced myself from everyone else, and now I'm not sure how to be close to anyone anymore;

Maybe I've been doing things my own way for the longest time now, and I'm no longer used to people telling me I'm doing the wrong thing, or telling me to do something else;

Maybe I've been so full of myself for years, that I filled up the space meant for other people with my own self-loathing;

Maybe I've been so cynical about other people that I find it difficult adjusting to the concept that there are some people who actually care about me without wanting anything from me;

Maybe I've been so preoccupied with giving that I don't know how to receive anymore;

Maybe I've finally turned into an antisocial paranoiac.

Maybe I'm already dead…

I need space....

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Hard disk space that is.

I have a total of 2 GB of Network-attached storage, consisting of a Linksys NAS200 with two 500 GB Seagate Barracuda 7200.12 SATA drives, and a 1 TB Seagate FreeAgent Desk connected to the NAS200 via USB.

It isn't enough.
Linksys NAS200.


Seagate FreeAgent Desk. I bought the NAS200 with its two drives about a year and a half ago. The FreeAgent is only about four months old. Between the two of them I only have about 200 GB of space free, and at the rate I'm downloading stuff, I'd probably fill my drives to capacity in a few weeks' time.

Two terabytes of movies, TV series, animes, documentaries, comic books, e-books, MP3s, and what not.

When I first started with computers in the 80s, (yes I'm old, I know) I thought the 143 KB capacity of a single-sided 5.25" floppy on my Apple II Plus was a godsend, especially when compared to the meager capacity and inconvenience of storing data on cassette tapes, which were popular at the time. Today in 2010, …

Episodes of Gloom

I stare into the distance
thinking of what once was...
I reach out to you with my thoughts
but you were nowhere.

I listen to my beating heart
the heart that still beats for you...
I strain to hear your heartbeat
but I hear only silence.

I remember the warmth of your touch
the soft caress that once gave me repose...
I try to hold on to you
but you have long since gone.

Then there is a hollow emptiness
a bleak void of nothingness in my soul...
I shed my tears for you in despair
and I go on my way.

As good as it gets....

I wonder if this is as good as it gets.

Sustaining one's enthusiasm for one thing or another isn't always easy, especially for things that are long term.

It's like being excited about paying premiums for your insurance policy the first few quarters. Then you realize you'll be doing the same thing for more than twenty years until the policy matures, and the enthusiasm is replaced by the grind of the routine of making payments for what is almost the rest of your natural life.

Or like one of those biology experiments from when you were in high school, you plant a seed, and wait days before any signs of life appear, if at all, and wait weeks before you get a healthy plant.

It's not that I'm complaining. Patience, as they say, is a virtue. And I'm a very patient person. It's just that an emotional high cannot be sustained for indefinite lengths of time, as it can be emotionally draining. It takes a lot of energy to maintain an emotional high, and I'd like to…

My immortal....

The human lifespan is a paradox.

It's too long if you live a miserable life, yet too short if you live a happy one, much like six years is too long for a bad President, and too short for a good one.

And it doesn't seem to be fair...you spend almost twenty years or so in school, possibly more, filling your head with knowledge supposedly necessary to get you through life, get a job, build up relations, start a family, accumulate resources, and just when you feel like everything is about right, you'll find out that life has passed you by, and you're just waiting for the grim reaper to show up with scythe in hand, ready to harvest your soul.

To be honest I was never really afraid of dying, I always felt that it was something that was bound to happen sooner or later, so there really was no sense getting worked up over something that was inevitable in the first place. And besides, it always felt like I never had anything to lose...at least that's how I felt, over the past s…

Somewhere in the middle....

Now that the national elections are over, another showdown is looming. The arena, interestingly enough, is my office.

My office has two unions. One has been in existence for more than two decades. The other is only nine years old. The older one is recognized by management. The younger one is not...at least as far as for purposes of collective negotiation are concerned.

Currently, a petition for certification election has already been filed with the Bureau of Labor Relations (BLR) though as of this date the petition is still pending and hasn't been decided upon. The way things are going, it can go either way, and I really have no idea how the BLR will decide the issue.

The established union is claiming that it holds the majority status and that it possesses the requisite accreditation issued by the Civil Service Commission (CSC) required by law before one can become the collective negotiating agent for a particular workplace. The young upstart on the other hand, is claiming that the a…

Iron Man 2

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I've been looking forward to seeing this movie for quite a while now, last night I finally got my chance.

It was entertaining and action-packed, but to be honest I felt a bit underwhelmed by it.

Robert Downey Jr., as in the first movie, made a very convincing Tony Stark, no doubt aided by the fact that Downey in real life possesses quite a lot of the traits that the fictional Tony Stark does, particularly a history of alcohol abuse and a certain respect and notoriety among the press and in their respective industries.

The rest of the cast was pretty much standard fare, though Don Cheadle's portrayal of James "Rhodey" Rhodes/War Machine seemed quite lackluster and insubstantial, relying more on action scenes and computer-generated gee-wizardry to capture the interest of the audience. The close friendship between Stark and Rhodes as well as Rhodes' bad-ass personality as portrayed in the comics was barely evident, with Cheadle merely being a man in a armored suit, an…

Who do I want to win?

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Actually the title of this post should be: "Who will I vote for?", but unfortunately, I'm not going to vote.

I was deactivated. I skipped voting during the 2004 elections, and when I tried to vote in 2007, for some reason I couldn't find my precinct. That's two consecutive elections that I failed to vote, and now I'm deactivated. While I'm in no way suggesting that the right to vote should be taken lightly, unfortunately that's what I did when I neglected to register again. I couldn't be bothered with the hassle I suppose, with all the things that have been going on at the time, and so now, on the historic eve of the Philippines' first automated elections, I'm not voting.

Sheesh...

So, who do I want to win?

I'll be honest, there really isn't a candidate that I believe to be worlds apart from the others. All of them have their strengths, their weaknesses, their respective histories, good or bad. Some of them though, are probably more de…

The reason why....

It's been twice now that I've been asked that question...it's a simple question really: why?

I guess they must be right. There has to be a reason. Maybe just because isn't good enough.

So here I am, in the comfort of my own home, with no one rushing me, thinking...how to articulate my answer. How to find the right words. Because truth be told, yes, there probably is a reason. Maybe I just haven't made sense of it to myself then. I'm not particularly sure if I have gotten it down pat, but here's the best that I can do:

I was never really a happy person from the very start. My childhood was pretty uneventful, with only a few close friends, and not a lot of happy memories. Don't misinterpret me, I didn't say I had a sad or miserable childhood. It just wasn't very happy. It couldn't be helped I guess. I was (and still am) an introvert, so I kept to myself...a loner.

After graduating from college, due to some unforeseen circumstances, I found myself …

Another one of those days....

Have you ever had one of those days, the kind of the day you're already expecting to be bad...even though you just woke up?

I think this is going to be one of those days.

Just this morning, an officemate who bought my old clunker of a car, kept calling...several times...on my landline, and on both of my cellphones, while I was taking a dump and taking a shower...when a simple text message will do. Some people don't seem to realize that just because they have my numbers, it doesn't mean they can call me anytime of the day or night.

Besides, I'm really not much of a phone person. Most of my phone calls last only a minute or so, more often than not less. I rely on text messaging more, but even then I don't really use it to text anyone else except my son, or the occasional officemate. Well, at least until a couple months ago. Now I seem to use it a lot. Not that I'm complaining.

Going back...it hasn't really been a good week...but it can't be helped I suppose. …

I need a drink....

I was never really much of a drinker even in my youth. My peak was way back in college when I could finish off about only about eight beers max, spread over several hours. Fast forward to the present, and on a good day (night) I can only down around four or so, maybe a bottle an hour.

I usually just drink for the company, for the laughs, the jokes, the stories. On rare occasions though, I just drink for the sake of drinking. I never really did need a reason to drink for the sake of drinking...or maybe I had a reason that I didn't really care to admit to others or to myself. Like now for example. I'm having one of my pseudo-clairvoyant phases, and I'm seeing a vision of my future...not that far off though, only about a week ahead...and I'm not liking what I'm seeing. Seems as good a reason to get a drink as any.

Beer, or for that matter any hard liquor isn't really my thing. While I can appreciate a good cold beer, or a shot of top-shelf liquor as well as the next…

Flummoxed....

I've always thought that I had a relatively good eye when it came to reading people, to sizing them up, figuring out their intentions, gauging their reactions to stuff. On certain occasions though, I find myself flummoxed by some individuals whom I can't seem to read at all, no matter how hard I try. I either get no signals, or pick up mixed signals that I can't seem to interpret.

That's all well and good, since that happens to all of us at one time or another...that's why even as an intelligent specie we still get into fights...and nations get into wars.

From my end, it all seems bittersweet. Bittersweet because it involves someone I deeply care about, and at this juncture, it would seem that there is hardly any room for error. Any small mistake could cost me the race...and apparently I committed a big one. A really big one.

I honestly didn't think I'd get the reaction I did. If I did then I wouldn't have done the thing I did. But it happened, and the dam…

This mortal coil....

About a week ago I learned that a colleague's sister succumbed after a long battle with cancer. She doesn't read this blog, but nonetheless I'll extend my condolences to her here. I've been fortunate enough not to have lost a loved one before...I can only imagine her pain and sadness, which, no doubt, has to be great.

My prayers and condolences to her and her family.

Whenever someone, or a relative of someone I know dies...I can't help but think about my own mortality...or the mortality of those around me.

When I was much younger...say in high school...I was so obsessed with the subject that I amassed a number of books discussing the prospect of life after death from a scientific perspective. At the time, I suppose, my faith wasn't enough. I couldn't bear to believe that this material world is all there is to existence, that there is nothing after we expire, that our ancestors and loved ones who have predeceased us live only in our memories and are not waiting…

Ghost fighter....

It would seem that I have been posting entries on my blog more than usual. This typically happens when I have a lot of things on my mind. I'm really not one who likes talking about my thoughts with other people, so blogging is my way of venting, of getting things off my chest.

This actually puts me in a disadvantage so to speak, as this blog invariably ends up as a window to my thoughts, thoughts that I hardly share with anyone else. No one I know actually reads this stuff though, except for maybe a handful, and that includes one particularly curious individual, whom I...well...you know. Not that I mind though, for a moment it just felt...weird, being this transparent and all, but I'm past that now.

Besides I've been posting my thoughts on this blog for almost six years now, and I'm not about to stop.

It's hard competing with a ghost. I've never been in this situation before, and I never realized how difficult competing with a ghost can be. There's nothing muc…

Out of the loop....

I don't really like being out of the loop. It's not that I need to know everything, because I don't. Sometimes, you just can't help but worry, especially if the person concerned is someone you care about.

Aside from worrying about whatever situation it is that's troubling that person, sometimes you can't help but think of all sorts of reasons why you're being shut out. Of course, that may not necessarily be the case, but still...the fact is you're in the dark, you don't know what the problem is, and no one is telling you.

I'm not making a big deal out of this. I don't want to do that anymore. Making a mountain out of a molehill involves a lot of aggravation and frustration, not just on my part, but on the other person as well, and I would like to save myself as well as that other person from that bother if I could.

It's still hard though. Not knowing.

If you're paranoid like me, sometimes you can't help but think of worst case scenar…

Non Sequitur

Several years ago, when I was having some problems with this girl I knew, a law school bud said something which has remained in my head up to this very day. It was nothing profound or melodramatic or anything like that. Matter-of-factly he just said: "Pag nakakaintindi ka na ng babae, babae ka na din." Loosely translated into English, it means "When you start understanding women, you've turned into one yourself."

It was a simple statement, yet so true...well, at least in my case. I can never, ever, seem to figure out women, especially within the context of romantic relationships, or in the attempt to establish one. I can never really decipher when you're supposed to take what they say literally or when to take what they're saying with a grain of salt. I often get confused whether they actually mean what they say, or if they're just saying. Worse is when it comes to interpreting the things that they do.

Men for the most part are linear thinkers. When w…