It's been more than ten days since I last made a blog entry.
I've been feeling a tad out of it the past couple of weeks, and I just couldn't seem to trouble myself with the effort of making a new blog post.
In addition, the sluggish nature of my internet connection hasn't helped things either, with Blogger.com taking forever to open on my browser.
While things have improved (slightly) with regard to my internet connection, blogging is still turning out to be quite a chore.
What is it that's been bugging me lately? Is it New Year's blues? Blogger's block? Lack of interest? Plain boredom? Well, to be honest, it seems to be all of them, with some other things thrown in for good measure.
Bloggers, like actors, need their motivation. And I seem to have misplaced mine.
So why do I blog anyway? And what has changed as of late which made be lose interest in blogging?
Primarily, I blog as a means of self-expression, of sharing my views with the other denizens of the blogosphere. Not that my opinions are any more correct, or more profound, or even more sensible than other people's opinions, but they're mine. And that by itself makes them a worthwhile exercise, at least to me.
But after more than two years, some things were bound to change.
Or did they?
I seem to be more awash in mediocrity, incompetence, immorality, and hypocrisy than I ever was in the past, and there doesn't seem to be anything I can do about it. Then again, there doesn't seem to be anything anyone can do.
Politics has...well...remained as dirty as ever, more so with the coming mid-term elections this May.
My work environment has deteriorated as a result of the sheer illogicism that I am exposed to on a daily basis.
And while I still believe that men (and women) are predominantly good, I seem to be seeing the evil side of them more and more often.
Maybe in future blog posts I'll elaborate on some specifics. But for now, let's leave them at that and just talk in generalities.
On the outside I have often projected myself as a cynic, not because of my lack of faith on other things and other people, but because sheer reality dictates that more often than not things and people, for one reason or another, invariably let you down. Deep inside though, I'm still an idealist. I guess that's why even when things go wrong...even those times that I expected things to go wrong, I can't help but feel a little bad deep down.
Sometimes things turn out bad...and you expect them to turn bad...but that doesn't stop you from hoping things would turn out good instead...but you still get disappointed. It happens.
Some people at work consider me as having good forecasting skills, since I'm the type of person who can come to a reasonably accurate prediction of future events based on analysis and interpretation of current facts and trends. More than a fair share of my predictions, particularly with regard to politics, and especially regarding developments in my office, have turned out to be true, simply by making the assumption that most people, faced with a decision, would more often gravitate towards to wrong one, just because the incorrect option is often the easier choice to make.
Why is that?
Is doing the right thing really that difficult to do?
Human nature, is, sad to say, well, the only human thing to do. And some part of our brains still contain the primitive survival instincts and impulses that makes us think of ourselves to the exclusion of others.
A lot of decisions in this world have been made not taking into consideration the rightness or wrongness of a particular choice, but based instead on protecting self-interests. And whether we like it or not...that appears to be human nature.
And it is probably that which is weighing us down as a specie.
Wars have been fought, decisions have been made, lives have been lost as a result of courses of action rooted primarily in protecting our own personal interests, whether as individuals, or collectively. Try and read the latest headlines. I'm sure you'll know what I'm driving at.
Can't be helped I suppose. We're only human.
But sometimes...don't you just wish...that we can be more than that?
More to follow in future posts, stay tuned.