Balancing Life and Priorities....

A speech by J.B. Jimenez from Ayala Land received through email. A worthwhile read.

Ano kayang halaga ng tagumpay sa career if it has been achieved at the expense of the family. What profit does a man have kung mawawala naman ang kanyang pamilya? OO nga, meron siyang salapi na milyon ang halaga, magandang mansyon, travels around the world, and cavorts with an array of girls, women, and ladies, pero naman ang kapalit kung ikaw naman ay being hated by your daughters and is the mortal enemy of your sons. Can success in career really make up for failure at home? Which then is more important, wealth or family. A great number of us would readily say family. Pero totoo kaya na ang ating sinasabi ay ating ginagawa. But do we walk our talk ika nga? Are we willing to translate our mindsets into concrete actions? Day by day, we are bombarded by 52 million dollar questions, Sino ba ang mahalaga ang mga anak ko o ang trabaho ko.

To my fellow employees, I don't know how you react out there or would Answer my questions. In my case, as an accountant who always spend overtime in the office to be able to submit deadline reports come month-end or cut-off period, I have made unforgivable mistakes. If I have to live my life again, I would need to overhaul my priorities, to rechannel the efforts that I Have been exerting with passions and commitment. I thought all along na ang Lahat ng ginagawa kong pagpapahirap at pagtratrabaho to the max to get a promotion, I am doing it all for the family. But I was wrong. Today I know better. When my wife or daughter is on the phone I make sure that I attend to them first, never mind if there are urgent things to attend or papers to submit to my superior, after all they can wait for 10 minutes.....but if I deny the 10 minutes that is so important to them, it would have a lasting effect than to my Boss who might be replaced in a couple of years.

My family is my top priority, period. It is not a choice between my family and my career. MY FAMILY IS THE REASON WHY I NEED A CAREER. My career will come and go, employers can come and go but one's family Will remain even beyond the grave. They even take care of our graves. Noon kahit mayroon affairs sa school ang aking mga anak, I'd tend to preponderate toward the official duty and delegate the affairs of my kids to my wife. I used to operate on the paradigm that I should focus on the duty first before pleasure. Now I know that MY first duty is toward my loved ones. I should put my time where my heart belongs.

Today if I will to do it all over again, I'd reverse my priorities. My son will only graduate once in elementary and only once in high school, I will make sure I will be there, I will file my vacation leave and if my Boss rejected it because I need to attend to a company function where I am required to attend, I would still go to my kids graduation no matter what the consequences are. This time I am willing to become an average corporate officer, a so-so business executive but a great father. I'm willing to be reprimanded by my Boss for a late report but not hated by a daughter for not remembering her birthday every year.....na ilalabas ko siya the whole day and cherish the moments every minute dahil alam ko hindi ko na maibabalik ito kapag lumaki na siya at kung gawin ko man later, baka huli na. There are more important matters compared to corporate business meetings, Family peace and love- these are the ones that matter most.

BUT I SPEAK ONLY FOR MYSELF. I DO NOT IMPOSE VALUES ON YOU GUYS OUT THERE.

If you think possessions are more important than family, go ahead. Spend 20 hours in the office, bring home your corporate work. Neglect your wife.. don't spend quality time with your kids. Don't attend important family gatherings. Find work that you are away for a week and only meet your family every week-ends, oh what a waste. Delegate raising the children to your spouse. Leave the young kids to the nanny. Let the driver brings your kids to school. Ask someone to represent in your son college graduation. If you find something wrong at home, don't mind it, anyway your concentration is in your job. You have your career remember? Don't greet your father and mother on their anniversary. Spend all your time in the company. Baka mawala ang tiwala ng Boss mo sa iyo sayang ang pinagpaguran mo ng matagal. If you have aging parents, don't visit them. enjoy your career in isolation. Drink, dance, be merry, But in the end, you lose all the love ones who love you more, after neglecting them. No wife, no kids, no family. you are alone and pretending to be happy. don't blame your company. don't lay the Burden on your Boss. Hindi ba, You made the choice? You opted to put more value on your career. Dahil sabi mo pinaghirapan mo lahat ito and pangarap mo na ito simula pagkabata dahil mahirap ka lang ikamu...gusto mong yumaman. You gambled and you lost.

I know of an executive na masyadong depressed...every week lang siyang umuwi sa pamilya niya. Week-ends lang niya nalalaro ang mga bata kung minsan required pa mag-stay ng sabado sa office, who finds no meaning in his life, he's got the money, a beautiful wife who according to him might be hiding something from him (you know what I mean) and the kids are not genuinely closed to him, for no apparent reason he had pulled the trigger to his head. He's got everything and he lost everything. that is the tragedy of it all.

As for me, I know better. After all the pains, the burdens of mistaken priorities, I have made my choice. Anytime, anywhere, my family comes first. My career, my business, my outside clients, all my other pursuits are only means to the end of all my sacrifices, my wife, my sons, my daughters, my family. I shall thus manage my various objectives well. there shall not be conflicting objective anymore. For I now know clearly my prioroties and shall be faithful to them. I shall be willing to give them up; excess money, much comfort, travels, and girls for and in the name of the family. That is simple and straightforward.

PS. Are you aware that if we die tomorrow, the company that we are working for could easily replace us in a matter of days. But the family we left behind will feel the loss for the rest of their lives. And come to think of it, we pour ourselves more into work than to our own family, an unwise investment indeed, don't you think? And we often treat strangers and coworkers better than members of our family.