Tuyo, Itlog at Kamatis....

Tuyo, Itlog at Kamatis
(Dried Fish, Eggs and Tomatoes)

I enjoy eating. That probably explains why I’m a “couple” of pounds overweight. (Ok, maybe ten to fifteen pounds is more than a couple.) Of course, I’m trying to lose weight, but that’s a subject for another post. I’m here to talk about food. Yeah, you heard me right. Food. Not just any food. The cheap kind you can prepare at home. :-)

In all my years (not that I’m that old, mind you) I’ve tasted a variety of foods. Some mundane and typical, some expensive and extravagant (like fancy steaks, caviar, abalone, or strange, smelly cheeses), some local (most Filipino food), some of western origin (burger and fries?), far eastern (Japanese, Vietnamese, Thai) some even exotic or perhaps downright disgusting (adobong salagubang [beetles sautéed in soy sauce and vinegar], deep fried balang [locusts, fried crisp, dipped in vinegar] or tapang kabayo [horse jerky] anyone?). Yet, there are times, actually it happens more often than I realize, that I have a craving for the cheapest of dishes…dishes that are really quite cheap yet provide a very satisfying meal. How cheap is cheap? Well, assuming you prepare it yourself at home, not that it requires a lot of cooking mind you, somewhere around twenty five pesos a meal, probably less (roughly 44 US cents). So what kind of cheap meals am I talking about? Read on…

1. Tuyo – “Tuyo” is a Tagalog word meaning “dry.” As a food item, it refers to dried fish, typically herring or something similar which as been salted and dried. You fry it briefly on both sides (I prefer it fried crisp) and dip the dried and fried fish meat (or soak it, in my case) in vinegar, preferably spiced up with garlic, onions, ginger and most importantly, chili peppers. Commercially available tuyo sold in supermarkets are on the small side, averaging around four to about five inches in length, and about three or four make a satisfying meal for me. Most people from where I’m from have it for breakfast, but that never stopped me from having it at lunch or even dinner when the craving sets in. And its saltiness combined with the sourness (and spiciness) of vinegar really goes well the blandness of plain boiled rice, though it goes equally well with fried rice too. A fried egg makes a good side dish as well;

2. Salted egg and tomatoes – When I say salted eggs, I’m referring to the locally available “itlog na pula” or “pulang itlog” which literally translates as “red egg.” Red eggs, if I’m not mistaken, are Chinese in origin, and consist of duck eggs which are hard boiled, soaked in a salt mixture/paste with their shells on for some time, and later colored red (still with their shells on). I’m not sure how other people eat them but I usually just chop up the eggs and tomatoes, sometimes I throw in a chopped onion, mix them up, and sprinkle a bit of vinegar on it (again, preferably the spiced variety), and eat it with rice. Makes a good meal in a pinch;

3. Instant noodles – I’m referring to the variety of noodles that come in small pouches that cost about five pesos each. You boil them in water for about two minutes, then add flavoring (usually chicken or beef) in the form of a powder mixture wrapped in foil. Goes well by itself, though sometimes I add in other ingredients such as a eggs (which I just drop in the boiling water), chopped meat (I sometimes use leftover meat), vegetables such as cabbage, carrots, or cauliflower or whatever’s available, and season it with pepper, perhaps some soy protein based liquid seasoning, maybe some chili sauce, and sesame seed oil. Really hits the spot;

4. Onion rings sautéed in soy sauce – Have you ever arrived home, famished, yet there’s nothing to eat? Try slicing up a couple of onions, sauté them in oil, add a couple of tablespoons of soy sauce, maybe a sprinkle of calamansi (Philippine lemon), thicken the sauce with some corn starch, season with pepper, and you end up with something which tastes like Filipino style beefsteak or porksteak…without the beef or pork. If you want it to taste meatier, drop in a fragment of a bouillon cube. Pour it over rice, voila! Instant meal! Yeah, it seems pathetic, but it actually works out quite fine; :-)

5. Sautéed canned fish – The canned fish can be sardines or mackerel in tomato sauce, sardines or mackerel in oil, or tuna, whether the plain canned kind, or the pre-cooked/flavored kind (if the tuna is canned in water, drain the water first). Simply just chop up an onion and crush some garlic, sauté them in oil, and once the onions have softened, just pour in the canned fish, sauce and all. Season with soy protein based liquid seasoning and pepper, perhaps some chili sauce, and pour it over boiled rice. You’re done! For a cheap pulutan (how do you translate this…finger food?) during drinking sessions, mix the sautéed tuna (never tried it on sardines before) with crushed plain crackers. I have no idea who invented this, learned this way back in college;

6. Sautéed corned beef – no mystery here, as usual just sauté some crushed garlic and chopped onions. When the onions are done, add the corned beef. If you want your corned beef a bit moist, pour a small amount of water in the can, slosh it around, and pour it on your simmering corned beef. Eat it with rice, or perhaps some pan de sal or sliced bread. If you make a sandwich out of it, dress it up with some mayo;

7. Hotdogs with onions – Yeah, it probably exceeds twenty five pesos if you actually have to buy the hotdogs, but it assumes you have one or two hotdogs frozen somewhere in your freezer. Canned sausages also work. Again, just sauté some crushed garlic and chopped onions, add the chopped up hotdogs, let the hotdogs fry for a while, then add some banana ketchup (never tried tomato ketchup with this dish before, wonder how it would taste like?). Let it simmer for a few minutes, letting the ketchup caramelize, and season to taste. Goes well over rice or as pulutan with some beer;

8. Canned meatloaf – What’s there to say? Slice it up thin, fry the slices a minute or two on each side, you’re done! I just have it with rice and some ketchup. When you’re feeling fancy, dip the sliced meatloaf in some raw egg and coat with bread crumbs, and fry until golden brown;

9. Cheese omelet – Beat up an egg or two, add a pinch of salt and pepper. Pour the raw egg on a hot skillet, and fold in some grated cheese (leftover hard and dry cheese which always seem to inhabit our refrigerator works pretty well). I have it with ketchup, actually kinda good; :-)

10. Condensed milk and bread - This hardly qualifies as a meal, but what can I say? It works. More so if you’re having a craving for something sweet; :-)

11. Liver spread and bread – Same as above, but it works as well. Crackers can be used in place of bread. Only learned this recently, from a friend at work. If I’m feeling a bit sophisticated, I just pretend the liver spread is pâté. ;-)

Not exactly culinary masterpieces are they? But they work in a pinch when you’re hungry and there’s nothing ready to eat, or you’re strapped for cash, or it’s too late in the evening to eat out or buy something, or just when you feel like it. If you find these dishes somewhat pathetic…well, can I help it? I’m actually not much of a cook. But I get by…;-)