As I gazed....

As I gazed into the looking glass
I can see a forlorn mortal shell
Caught between dilemmas of the past
And stories I feel that I must tell

The perplexity of my own life
Never can I ever comprehend
With all the conflict and all the strife
And emotions that I cannot mend

As I gazed at my reflection’s eyes
Tranquil oceans of sorrow appeared
For my failures may have made me wise
But from the angst I have not been spared

For of the mind, the soul and the heart
The heart heeds nothing else but itself
Even if all things must fall apart
It is truly that which guides one’s self

As I gazed into the dark, blue sky
And count the stars that remain above
I go ask myself the question why…
Is it not enough to be in love?

But the mind says it is not enough
For to live is really that complex
As even smooth seas at times turn rough
And loved ones sometimes we tend to vex

As I gazed at the depths of the sea
And ponder on choices to be made
Fearing the future, that I must be
As designs are set and plans are laid

But I need not fear for God is there
To help with every problem and doubt
The least of my brethren I must care
And that His will I must carry out

As I gazed through my innermost being
He lifts the cloud of sadness and grief
No longer should I fear my failing
Of character which it is a thief

Yet as experiences fill my cup
And my astonishment seems the same
It is not always how we end up
It is about how we play the game

- R. A. C. P.
June 5, 2000

This is a poem I wrote in a fit of boredom at the office more than five years ago. I discovered it laying dormant on my office computer's hard drive while looking for old files to delete. Just thought I'd post it here for posterity. :-)

The photo above is entitled "Gaze" and is by Natalie Covert. It is part of the 2003 BFA Graduation Show of the University of Colorado at Boulder.

I believe that it best represents the feelings and emotions I had at the time I wrote this poem, hence, to me it seemed an ideal accompaniment to the words.

What do you think?