Reader comments....

This is CL's reaction to my post: Dissecting the double standard.... Fascinating commentary, capable of standing as a blog post by itself. Posting it for everyone to read (slightly reformatted for readability). Thanks CL. :-)

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Double standard is created by the society in which an individual or group are influence by an idea that they adapt base upon knowledge, beliefs and information.

If men think they can do it, so can the woman.

If women can do it, so can the man.

Equal opportunity only applies if you know how to get it.

If the men want to cheat on their partner – it’s a choice.

If women want to cheat on their partner – it’s an option.

If they want to mutually consent to cheating – then, it’s a rare deal.

If they hide it – it’s a burden.

Bear in mind that there are different types of love and relationships that exist. [preferences]

Men can’t bear children, this is an obvious anatomical facts. Women can’t have children without the seed of life, an obvious reproductive fact. Gay men can have children – Artificial Insemination and Surrogate mothers. Lesbians can have children – buy the sperm or look for the hand outs.

Gender role – she’s supposed to be doing this and his suppose to be doing that. Supposedly, said who? Thinks: - The male chauvinist and the feminist movement.

When economic issues are at stake, there are obligations to be met. ½ and ½, separate accounts, or somebody will eventually take on the role as treasurer. Which of these sounds agreeable? Is subject to changes a “clause” to include? I say, “Let me do the spending, you handle the checkbook dear.” [Who is saving the receipts (evidence)?]

Is Polygny, a double standard in the Bible – Judaism and Islam too? Or is it a fix against promiscuous relationship which is forbidden in one of the 10 commandments?

History tells me that there were many widowed women. Their husbands died in the battle. Many of these women were deprived of a family unit, the social needs, emotional needs, sexual gratification -- therefore polygny became the fix against increasing immoral sexual acts.

During the Jahilliyah Days (prior to the introduction of Islam) in the Arabian Peninsula, women used to put their flags outside their tents. This means she can have different men to come and have sex with her and potentially choose the man whom she thought to might have been the father of her child. This practice continued and as a result sexual diseases became rampant. It was then abolished.

Today, there is not much difference, some women have countless partners whether married or not and definitely prostitutes on the loose. Why can’t women marry all these men – The law is far from being too liberal, legal issues are at stake specifically on determining the biological father and the diseases (STD) that might arise from such cohabitation.

Interesting enough, today, having a relationship outside marriage is more acceptable than polygny. Am I missing something here?

Consider the ratio of women to men today. Polygny is unselfish, the greatest charity, a humanitarian cause and cheating wouldn't be necessary.

In any case, if Men are from Mars and women are from Venus, then what an EARTH are we here? Do not guess.


Stay tuned for more on this. After reading Punzi's related yet somewhat different take on this issue here, and after having a rather insightful chat with Snglguy with this very same issue, I think we've only scratched the surface as far as this topic is concerned.

If you have your own thoughts on this subject, feel free to give your two cents worth. :-)

Comments

Anonymous said…
What I briefly stated above offers a corresponding itemized explanation. ;)

There is no moments of pause when an individual wants to do something bad or good, whether it seeks an approval and whether conformity is a requirement within the social norm or not.

People are people. Everyone has a different “reality” to present whether I agree or disagree is beside the point – It only needs to be understood [settlement]. Some will argue that they do not understand or wish no understanding, where does it lead? Bring in the motion, the meter is running, tic tac tic tac, the hourly rates can be quite depressing. [The Court House drama begins with allegations and ends by leaving someone’s pocket full and others with a big hole].

I must have mentioned before – Our ideals, our expectations, and what if plan A & B failed? Has anybody prepared for plan C?

I do not advocate cheating, nor do I condone it however, I have a proposition to make with men who are boys. Let me lay down my cards.

a. If you are going to mentally cheat – I do not wish to know.
b. If you are fanaticizing about something that includes me – then, it can be arranged.
c. If you are going to physically cheat on me – At least practice safe sex. NOTE: I have no time to go on a deer hunting spree. So please do me a great favor and inform me when you are completely free from your temporary lunacy, only then I can again be sexually intimate. Is this too much to ask?
d. If I ever catch you in an affair, do not expect that I am going to be emotionally distressed over it and divorce you. I’m not going to be jealous over some slut who has ulterior motives other than sex. After all, I am married to all the convenience as such financial, pension plans, life insurance, properties etc, I can’t complain eh. There’s a price to pay for everything that is important which includes the word, “A HUSBAND” with a face value.
e. Now shuffle the cards and let’s talk, tell me what is it that you plan on negotiating?


Men and their midlife crisis experience - nagging and making their life a living nightmare is not going to speed up their temporary lunacy from ending. It is well documented that man has the energy a 100 times than any ordinary dogs.
I wonder if some women ever look at the self and asked these questions:
a. Have I neglected myself (physically)?
b. Have I done something that might turn him off?
c. Has my charming technique (manipulation) declined?
d. Have I neglected the “the Supply and Demand” of the art of creative sexual intimacy?
e. Have I not… Have I ….?
Whatever the answers may be, taming the lion is a challenge and changes begin with the self.

Having said this, am I going to get even and cheat? No. I have no intention of lighting the fire only to discover that putting it out is far complex than starting it. I’ve got my hands full with many things that interest me. I’ll concentrate on that and let the story of life continue in a path that is tolerable. Trials, errors and feasibility studies are an ongoing part and process of life experiences. I like to use simple programming scripts to make life work to my advantage first before anybody else in the same token maintaining flexibility on matters and issues that requires careful considerations.

Just my POV on paper.
Ronald Allan said…
Snglyguy: Same to you Guy. :-)

CL: Fascinating take. I have observed though that womens' reactions to their mates cheating (whether actual or imaginary) vary significantly, ranging from the "ignorance is bliss" to "there would be hell to pay" and everything else in between.

Eventually, it just boils down I guess to the individual preferences and mental state of the woman on how she would deal with a philandering husband.

Arguably, I'm going through a mid-life crisis myself (or am I?) but somehow I can't really relate to those who seem preoccupied with women and womanizing. I have to admit though that "illicit trysts" are potentially quite gratifying to some people, whether male or female.

I don't know if you've heard this phrase before, but some people are just looking for a "guilty fuck."

Sex just has this way of making some people feel better, whether they get it a through socially (or morally) acceptable way or not.

I myself don't encourage or condone cheating. But lets face it, it'll still happen. Its just human nature I guess.

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