Not so long ago I came across this news article on the internet. It was just an ordinary news article, or so I thought, until I noticed that it had mentioned an ex-girlfriend's name. For a moment, I just felt stunned.
Has this ever happened to you? You've lost touch with a person you've been very close too. In fact, the last time you even seen or talked with that person could be years and years ago. Then, suddenly, out of the blue, you remember him or her. Then you find yourself awash in all your memories of that person, the good and the bad.
That's exactly what happened to me. And for an instant, for no real apparent reason, I found myself slowly inching my way towards an anxiety attack. Well, it never really went that far, but I guess you know what I mean. For a brief moment, I was in the past again. Perhaps not unlike Richard Collier (Christopher Reeve's character) in the movie Somewhere in Time.
All of a sudden I was engulfed in feelings that I never realized I still had. I guess the truth is I still miss that person. Even after all those years. Yes, I suppose I've moved on and gotten over that person...but answer me this...do we really get over someone we truly and deeply loved?
Sometimes I'm regretful of the circumstances which I...or that other person, could not simply deal with at the time. Come to think of it, we never really had problems between ourselves. It was the situation around us that made things go downhill. I'd like to think that it was unavoidable, but sometimes I have my doubts, thinking I could have done this...or that instead. Or perhaps it was my fear...of going through virtually the same incidents which have led me to marry early...and see that marriage fail in front of my very eyes. For what its worth, at the time we were together, I just didn't want the situation to turn into a repeat of what happened earlier in my life.
But that's all in the past now, I guess. Things happen for a reason, and perhaps this turn of events could be the best for everyone concerned. I think she's much happier now, successful too, and that's good enough for me. Its strange if you think about it. I've been in a few relationships since then, but I guess she was the last person that I truly loved as if there were no tomorrow. Should that mean something? Maybe not to anyone else, but to me it does. Even if now it's only a distant memory.